This is all too much.

You'll have to excuse my ramblings - I need to clear my head.

Tonight was a Sean night. They come once or twice a week.

Never on a Thursday. Rarely.

Mum's been ill for some time. Various symptoms. Various possibilities.

Pain
Bleeding
Fainting
Collapsing
Tiredness
Low appetite
Weight gain

Stress.

The first solution - op to remove the 2 large Kidney Stones that have grown very quickly.

Second Test for Ovarian Cancer. Must wait though. One thing at a time.

Why can't they just find out everything, and zap the lot all at the same time?

My phone buzzes.

'We're poorly here.'

Libby's away. That leaves Mum & Alfie.

What's wrong Mum? Have you passed out? Do you need the hospital?

Whats wrong with Alfie? He was fine this morning. Fine all night.

'We need to go home Sean.'

'Now.'

Tears in the car. Quiet tears. Stress.

Don't tell me to stop crying.

I know they're bloody tears.

Arrive home, locked back door, no key.

Knock on door, no answer, knock again, no answer. Panic.

Door Opens. She looks so ill.

Dark circles. Off balance. Ill.

Blood.

Blood on the floor.

Droplets.

Puddles.

Sick.

Alfie.

His ears are down. His eyes sad.

My baby. My healer. Panic.

What's he eaten? Is it blood? Is it ketchuppy sick?

Libby really must stop leaving her plate down for him.

Not blaming. Observing.

Put Mum to bed.

Coat on. Lead out.

Where's the blood coming from?

So we walk.

Me & Sean. and Pup.

He perks up, walking around the park. Calm. Calm Stress.

No blood.

Home.

Clean.

Tidy.

Libby's bed. I'll be closer to Mum. Alfie prefers it in here.

Blankets. Quilts. Water.

Sick.

No Blood.

He's sucking his mouth, drinking lots and sick. Wandering around. He's not comfortable.

Breathing heavily now. Slowly. Normal pace.

Howl. Cry, More sick.

Panic