I live at home with my Mum & sister who is 10 years my junior. Who I have half raised since she was 18 months old.
Me and Mr have been together for nearly four years. Four years of one weekend here, one weekend there. Four years of baby announcements, showers, arrivals and birthdays from family & friends.
In those four years six babies have been born across our families. Some planned, some not so. But each of them a miracle, a bundle of joy.
It's no surprise that this along side working in the industry that I do, running a business primarily targeted at Mums & Mum's to be has made me so incredibly broody.
I spend my days watching and reading as Bumps become Babies. Women become Mothers. Couples become families.
It is a process mainly of the following.
That very first tweet announcing a miracle..
The exciting bump updates.
The seas of pink, blue or yellow which take over your home as you prepare.
The realisation that said baby really is your world.
More seas of pink, blue or yellow which take over your home as you prepare.
It all seems so exciting! Exhausting but exciting.
I tell myself every single day that a baby of our own just would not be practical. That in order to raise a child you need to have your own home, money and more life experience than we do. That we 'have our whole lives ahead of us yet'. That I am far too young to be broody. That people will raise their eyebrows and judge. And all of the above is probably true.
But I am also learning that life is so so short. Too short to wait for the 'right time'.
What if I keep waiting for the 'right time' and it never comes? I have family and friends who have missed the boat. Their ship has sailed. And they are sad and forever longing.
In the four years that we have been together we ourselves have lost two unexpected miracles at very early stages. As unexpected and unplanned as they were and however unprepared we may have been, the heart ache and emptiness each loss has bought is unexplainable. I have to trust that whoever it is sitting up there was certain that our little miracles were just not ready for earth just yet, he just wasn't quite finished with them yet, and that when he is and when we are ready he'll send them to us.
But I am broody all the same.
I don't think you can be too young to be broody. I was broody from about 19 years old, but like you I knew I wanted to "do" more first. You have no chance at all to be selfish once you're parents, so now is the time to party, go traveling etc. also I think you just know when you're more ready, I knew I wanted to be married first and learning to drive for me was also a must! I can imagine it must be very hard sometimes because of your job, but lovely at the same time. X
ReplyDeleteI really remember this time well and it is SO SO hard. Me and my husband did the alternate weekends things too, and then moved in together when I started uni, but we couldn't start trying because I was on a 3 year course and were not financially secure at all.
ReplyDeleteI was horrendously broody, I honestly had points where I cried because I wanted a baby of our own so badly. My husband felt the same. So we saved our asses off, I studied two years of uni in one year so I could finish quicker, we moved closer to my family and I took my final exam a week before I gave birth!
We have been together since I was 15, moved in together at 17, had our first when I was 19, my second at 21. We are stronger and more hopelessly in love than ever now after 7 years together, and hope to have more children - don't let anyone ever make you feel you are too young :) You are 20 not 13.
People say you should party / travel first at all that, and me and my husband did travel a bit (but have never really been party people) but honestly even if I hadn't I would never have regretted a thing - people talk like having children is the end of your life but it's just the beginning.
We are now sooo blessed with two beautiful girls of our own - your time will come lovely and I hope the waiting isn't too hard on you. L x